Miscarriage is so common and yet is rarely talked about. Unlike other forms of grief, people seem reluctant to mention it, whether that’s through fear of causing upset or worries about saying the wrong thing. On the flip side, I often felt reluctant to discuss what we were going through as I found it often led to making others feel uncomfortable, which in turn would make me feel more sad. I would love to break this taboo, which exists even in the medical profession – I remember attending the GPs to get a sick note following our first loss and the Dr informing me she’d stated ‘gynecological problems’ on the note, rather than the real reason. This made me so mad, I was experiencing the loss of my baby, not a ‘problem’. Maybe by sharing our story we might help other people reach out for much-needed support.
We’re also sharing this story, so the memories of our babies live on. Keeping them present in our thoughts is all we have left. I want to talk about them and have people understand that even though they never got a chance to be, we miss them regardless. Never think that by mentioning them, you will be reminding me, they’re always in my thoughts anyway.
As an aside, it’s also been a pretty cathartic process for me to get all this down.
Lastly, we’re sharing in the hope you’ll support our fundraising for ongoing research in to recurrent miscarriage and molar pregnancy, with the end goal of preventing other couples and families from having to endure the heartache we have and bring them their own ‘happily ever afters’ sooner.
You can sponsor us here: https://www.justgiving.com/teams/KayleighandMatt