The story of our journey to parenthood.

Trying, failing, grief and never giving up.

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20 thoughts on “About

  1. A story of struggle, heartache and courage to achieve the dream of having a child. Proud of you both. And love you both and Blakey to the moon and back xx

  2. Thank you Darling for sharing this. Even thought I thought I knew Your’s and Matt’s story this explains much more. Your Mother said it would leave me with a lump in my throat and she was right, but the slide show at the end makes it all worthwhile. We love you both and that lovely little boy.

  3. I found your blog through Twitter. Wow. What a journey. I’d heard of Professor Quenby from my consultant (currently under Leeds Centre of Reproductive Medicine) but haven’t followed it up yet. We’ve been trying over 2 years, have fertility issues, and had 3 losses in a very short space of time, all at different stages, so I know the feeling you describe of almost being ‘lapped’, when others are on to their 2nd and 3rd babies. Although our tests have come back negative, like yours, there’s always the underlying ‘what if there’s something else?’
    I’m so glad things have worked out for you, although I’m so sorry for your losses beforehand. Thank you got sharing your story.

  4. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had my third loss last week and am anxiously waiting for our appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic at St James. Your blog has filled me full of hope. Fingers crossed soon I’ll be able to share my story to help others too xx

    • I’m so so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious babies. It breaks my heart when I think of others going through that pain too.
      Thank you for your lovely message and very kind sponsorship, we really appreciate it and I know it will go to good use.
      Wishing you a world of luck for a speedy appointment, clear tests and, most importantly, your own happy ending to share soon.
      Keep going. Every day is another day closer to good news.
      Take care xxx

  5. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had my third loss last week and am anxiously waiting for my appointment at the RMC at St James hospital. Reading this has given me hope that we might get to our happily ever after. Congratulations on your gorgeous baby xx

  6. I am so incredibly grateful that you have chosen to share your story. We have been trying for 2 1/2 years and suffered 4 miscarriages and most recently a cervical ectopic. You voiced so many things I have been feeling throughout this journey but have not spoken about for all the reasons you mentioned and more. I like you have been tested for so many different things, along with my husband, and all have come back clear which has been desperately frustrating and joyous at the same time. I plan to visit Coventry in the next month or so on the advice of my consultant. You have given me a renewed strength and hope. X

    • I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious babies and continued struggles to start a family, I remember that feeling of complete despair like it was yesterday. I’m glad sharing our story has helped a little. Wishing you lots of luck with your consultation, we found the team at Coventry to be great.
      Thinking of you and hoping your own happy ending arrives very soon.
      Kayleigh x

  7. Thank you for sharing your experience. We have also experienced 3 loses and our investigations so far are inconclusive. I am at the stage of wanting to give up, I am so disappointed with my body and I’m finding it hard to keep trying. I keep reading your blog in the hope it will keep me positive. It’s so hard thinking when to give up and accept its not going to happen. For some it seems so easy to bring a child into the world but for others its the hardest most draining experience. I hope that in time we can share our own happy ending but only time will tell 😦 best wishes 🙂

    • Leanne, I am so so sorry for your losses. You’re right, it’s so incredibly difficult to keep going, to maintain any semblance of belief in your body that it can do it. I remember those feelings of utter despair and helplessness like they were yesterday – I don’t think I’ll ever forget just how low I got, or how difficult it was to keep on going, day after day, month after month, year after year. Are you in the UK? Just wondered if you’d considered going down to the Implantation Clinic at Coventry? After the fourth baby we lost, we were willing to try anything and the ease of getting an appointment and trying something, anything new was such a lifeline. I felt we had nothing to lose by that point and oh so much to gain. And the team there were so lovely, encouraging and supportive, I couldn’t recommend them enough.
      I’m thinking of you and wishing you the strength to keep going.
      Please let me know how you get on,
      Sending you a world of luck,
      Kayleigh x

      • Hi kayleigh, thank you for your reply. Yes I’m in Lincolnshire. I’m currently seeing a local specialist who has told us to carry on trying & when I fall has said he will try aspirin & progesterone. He thought my progesterone levels were on the lower side of normal. Clutching at straws really because no investigation has been completely conclusive but I’m willing to try anything. We have said we will give this a go & if this doesn’t work we will certainly look into Coventry. I just feel even more nervous now 😦 and the whole way through I’ve been surrounded by friends and family who fall so easily. Two friends fell similar time with 2 of my pregnancies and my sister fell at the same time as my third, we ended up losing our third baby the day my sisters baby was born which was so heart breaking. Life can be so cruel! I’m just thankful that my husband is so supportive and I know we can get through this together. I will keep you posted and we will definitely be in touch for more info on Coventry if this doesn’t work. Thank you so much for your kindness. Leanne x

  8. Hi Kayleigh,
    Just wanted to let you know how things are going. After several months we have finally been blessed with a little miracle! We are almost 13weeks now and had our dating scan on wed. Our consultant started me on aspirin and progesterone as soon as the pregnancy was confirmed and so far so good. This is the furthest we have got as our angel babies have never grown beyond 10 weeks. My consultant wants me to stop the progesterone but I am so nervous to do so, so I think I will wean off too. It is the weirdest feeling I want to be happy and enjoy being pregnant but I feel so nervous I constantly think will there be problems. The slightest ache or twinge sends me crazy thinking there is a problem. I had quite a large bleed at 10 weeks too which added to the worry. I feel I’m wishing time away 😟 We have told family and friends now but I still feel nervous each time I tell someone. Do you have any tips on how to relax? I’m praying all the time that everything will be okay. I’ve read a few forums but some have scared me further so I’m trying to avoid them now. Hope you are well 😀 Leanne x

    • What wonderful news to hear! Huge congratulations! I know, it’s scary, and it sucks when you can’t just enjoy it naively like everyone else seems to, but it’s so so positive that you’re 13 weeks (although I know it’s so nerve wracking and hard to believe it). The thing I felt helped was to get some squared paper and mark out every week from zero to 40 weeks (with one square per day). I then crossed off each day as it passed. By this point you’ll be able to cross off loads straight away, and it gives a real visual representation of how far you’ve come. I also highlighted squares where I had an appointment (scan, midwife, consultant), each trimester, or things like bank holidays, annual leave, etc. So there was always something to look ahead to, and it really helped to break down the 40 weeks in to manageable chunks!
      Wishing you so much luck. Please let me know how you get on. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. Kayleigh xxx

      • Thank you that’s a great idea! I will get onto that today. We have lots of appointments to put on as they have decided to scan me at 28, 32 and 36 weeks too due to also having a family history of Preeclamsia. Although I did find it odd that they don’t want to scan me now until 18 weeks for the anatomy scan, so we have decided to have a couple of private reassurance scans too. Thank you for your support. Yes I will let you know how things go. Leanne xx

      • Hi Kayleigh, just wanted to let you know our precious rainbow baby has arrived safe and sound. We had a little girl and she was just over 2 weeks early born on the very day that would have been the due date of our third miscarriage. We found this very comforting. Thank you for sharing your story it really helped me along our journey and I’m sure it will lots of others too. Hope all is well with you and your family and congratulations on the birth of your little girl. Leanne xxx

    • Oh Leanne, HUGE congratulations! I love to hear about all the happy endings 🙂 You did it! After all that waiting and trying and failing and grief, you did it and your little girl is here and yours for keeps. I hope you’re both doing well – those early weeks and months are so precious.
      Thank you, Blake has just turned 2.5 and Alba is 3 months today, it goes way too quickly!
      So lovely to hear your happy news, thanks for letting me know,
      Take care and enjoy that precious bundle x

  9. Hi Sniley,

    What a blog!

    I have just been referred to professor Quenby after losing hope after 5 miscarriages, this story has filled my heart with love & hope that I needed!

    I would love to talk more!


    • Hi Hannah,
      I’m so so sorry to hear about your losses, I remember those feelings of despair like they were yesterday.
      The team at Coventry are amazing, you’re going to be in great hands. I don’t know if you saw the latest post by my husband, but they’ve helped us get two precious little ones now – if you’d told me this would be possible 3 years ago, following our fourth loss, I wouldn’t have been able to believe it.
      Wishing you a whole world of luck. If you have any questions, or if there’s anything else I can help with, just let me know,
      Take care, keep going,
      Kayleigh x

  10. Hi Kayleigh. I found your blog via the Miscarriage Association. Thanks you so much for sharing your story. When I got to “our lowest ebb” I felt like you had written down my deepest thoughts and feelings. It is so comforting to know that we are not alone and your happy ending has given me that glimmer of hope when all is feeling lost. Congratulations on your beautiful family. And thank you again x

    • Thank you our so much for your kind comment and donation on our just giving page. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through similar. No matter the time that passes, I remember those feelings of deep despair and hopelessness like they were yesterday. Keep going. I hope your own happy ending is just around the corner. Wishing you lots and lots of luck xxx

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